Need a bit of positivity in your life? Here are some ways to go about finding the positives in every day life.
For a long time I was very negative. All my thoughts tended to be negative, depressing and angry. It was only when I started talking to a professional counsellor that I realised how my negative attitude was affecting my choices, my relationships and only adding to my anxiety.
With my first baby on the way, I didnít want to keep going like this. It Is draining to be surrounded by negativity all the time, and all it does is whittle away at your confidence.
Donít get me wrong - Iíve still got a long way to go. My Ďfirst babyí is now four, and I still have a degree of negative thoughts, but Iíve learned so many valuable ways to be more positive and remove a lot of the negativity from my life. Here are some of the things Iíve been doing to find the positives in each day.
Write down some things you are grateful for each day
The practise of finding gratitude in order to feel happier about your life has been around for a few years now. Itís fairly straight forward - find three or four things to be positive about for the day and write them down. Itís one thing to think about things that went well, but actually seeing those things written down is a great way to visualise positivity and gratitude.
They donít even have to be huge achievements or things that went well, such as landing a major new client at work, getting through that giant pile of washing or finally cleaning out the fridge (which are huge achievements in my household) but it could be something as simple as finally sitting down at the end of the day to watch a TV show with your partner, getting your child to eat their peas or taking a walk around the block in your lunch break.
Use positive language and thinking
This is a hard one to start, as it could mean changing the habits of a lifetime. Itís easy to assume that things will go wrong, name and blame when they do and generally think that life is all doom and gloom. You can put a positive spin on just about anything by changing the language you use and the thoughts you have from negative to positive.
For example, instead of: ďMy child wonít eat anything I make for them and itís so dishearteningĒ, think ďI am trying my best to feed my child and thatís good enough.Ē After all, feeling disheartened only shows you care about and love your child.
I find that it takes far more energy to be nasty than it does to be kind to someone. You can find easy ways to be kind to others, and do positive things each day.
Look up from your phone and smile at or greet a fellow walker while out and about, hold the door open for someone, tell a fellow mum they are doing a great job or offer to help out a friend for a few hours. It will make you feel good about yourself and maybe even brighten up someone elseís day too.
Donít make assumptions and stop overthinking!
Ahh, the perfect fuel for negativity! Assumptions and overthinking are confidence-killers that do nothing for positivity. For example, you assume that your new potential mum friend hasnít replied to your message because you sounded too needy, or you said something wrong, or you sound a bit weird etc, etc, and now you are totally overthinking.
Ok, stop with the assumptions and stop with the overthinking. Do you have any solid evidence to suggest your potential new mum friend is avoiding you on purpose? No.
Every time your overthinking starts to spiral out of control, put your focus into the right now - that is, something that will being you back to the present and prevent your thoughts from wandering too far away.
Identify areas of toxicity in your lifeÖ.
Ö.And bid them goodbye! Ok, this isnít as easy as it sounds, especially if those areas of toxicity are family members, friends or co-workers. You can, however, use your new positive language skills to deflect negative conversations into something a little more upbeat.
Sick of seeing negativity on the news? Stop watching. Too much negativity on social media? Unfollow, snooze and unfriending are your new best friends. Toxic social circle? Distance yourself and find some new friends. Fellow mums being judgemental? Step away (or tell them to STFU. Ok, not exactly positive but self-satisfying, all the same.)
Negativity can impact so much of your life. Don't let it get out down by creating positive energy, making positive choices and living a happier life.