No matter how much we try to convince ourselves when we're pregnant, or how much we protest and claim until we are blue in the face that there's no chance in hell of us becoming "that mum" or 'mumsy' in general, it's quite frankly, inevitable.
I remember being pregnant and thinking "ergh I hate those people that just post photos of their baby on Facebook all the time.. yawn!" Yet, flash forward a year and I am oh so guilty of posting a picture every time my baby takes a poo, or a video whenever he mutters something. To the outside world, he may sound like he's saying "bligsehhh", but I've put the caption "OH LOOK HE JUST SAID BLUEBERRIES!" #ChildGenius.
And it's not just this that makes me feel like I'm becoming more like my own mum (you should see her Facebook spam...). Here are 4 examples of the very mumsy questions I now find myself asking:
1. "Are you really having a coffee at this time?!" (To my husband at 6pm...)
Not only have I become obsessed with my son's sleeping/eating/drinking habits, but also my husband's, as if he's suddenly become one giant, oversized baby. In my now mummy-fried brain, he is incapable of making decisions by himself.
Plus, since when did 6pm become an ungodly hour? Long gone are the days of partying until 3am and lie-ins that stretched well past midday. When your days begin at 6am, 6pm might as well be midnight.
2. "Have you seen the price of..." (Insert mundane household item/cleaning product/ grocery here)
When a good percentage of your disposable income is being flushed down the toilet (literally – nappies, wipes, whole toilet rolls being a current game my son likes to play), you suddenly find yourself wondering if things used to be so god damn expensive (dare I say it... back in your day).
Hence, you have become your mother/grandmother and are now resigned to spending your days visiting numerous supermarkets, hunting for bargains, even if it means going twice as far and loading up your pram like you're on supermarket sweep.
3. "Do you have to put ___ in your mouth?"
This is more of a rhetorical question that I find myself asking my one-year-old, on countless occasions throughout the day. The blank is usually filled in with the word "soil" or "shoe" or something so equally gross that I have to stop myself as I can't quite believe the words that are coming from my mouth. But that's life with a toddler and the reason our toilet brush has now had to be rehomed... (GAG).
4. "How did we ever think we were happy before?"
This is a question me and my husband ask each other quite often – usually when we're staring dreamily over our peacefully sleeping baby, or when he comes running over and kisses us both on the cheek. You think you're the happiest and most in love you can be when you meet your other half and then your baby comes along and instantly doubles it.
This love continues to double with every new thing they learn to do or say until you're unsure you have any room left in you as you're so full to the brim with love and pride.
This is I'm sure, why it spills over into our cringey mum moments, and I'm happy to admit that I am one of those embarrassing mums with a Facebook profile picture of my baby, wearing a mock adult shirt and a snotty nose, with the caption "my world" (insert child-less eye rollers here).
Being mumsy is a mum's way of showing our love and dedication to our child and I suppose, a demonstration of how they will always come first. So who cares if your Facebook is full of your baby's face and your Instagram is full of your #familygoals? It could be worse, it could be full of your cat.
I'm a first-time mother and I've found that I can't go out with my son without somebody giving me advice on how to raise him. There seems to be a general assumption that new parents have no idea about children, and it is everybody's duty to share their wisdom.