Home    Subscribe    Write for Us    Advertise    Contact    Login
Join the Motherd Facebook Group to ask questions, seek advice, share experiences and join a vibrant and supportive community.

Visitors After The Birth

by Jemma Fletcher (follow)
Useful Lists (19)      Postpartum (14)     
How long did you wait before you welcomed visitors?

Across our platform of online mum groups, members regularly ask each other for advice and suggestions on a range of topics.

The following question proved to be very popular – and we are sure it's a topic that crosses every mum's mind when they give birth.

"How did you guys go about letting visitors (family) hold your newborn/not hold your newborn? I’m 7 months pregnant and I am starting to get super anxious about letting people get too close to him when he’s born. I’m even tossing up whether to allow people to visit in the hospital. Am I okay to make demands? Or is this something that is me being selfish, and I’ll probably be fine when it’s all happening?"

Here are some of the responses we received; we hope it assists you with your decision making, or at the least makes you feel less alone in your thinking.

Immediate family only.

"We had just family (siblings and grandparents) visit in the hospital. That’s 6-8 people to fit in between trying to breastfeed or expressing, visits from the physio, lactation consultant, paediatrician, and hearing nurse. Visitors can wait until you’re settled."

"Each to their own... its your child/ family and people should respect your decision. We had no vacc no visit, and just immediate family in hospital and the first few weeks. Needed to adjust to feeding her 2 hourly and rest when she did, as well as enjoy the special moments with our daughter as a family at home when we first got home. I barely even looked at my phone the first few weeks! When you feel ready to have visitors then let people know. I'm glad we had that time to bond... time flies by too quickly!"

No vaccination, no visit.

"You are allowed to be as selective as you like! I asked the immediate family to get vaccinated, especially for whooping cough, and you can ask friends to leave a month or so before they visit. Even then, don't offer them a cuddle – if they are desperate, they will ask you and you can decide. Don't feel like you have to be polite."

"I was like you the first time I was pregnant and I made sure the grandparents etc had gotten the whooping cough vaccine. Luckily, most of our friends were already parents so they naturally waited and when they did it wasn't for long. I am currently pregnant and I am less anxious this time around. Plus, we have a toddler who is going to impossible to keep away from the new baby!"

"I had the whole ‘no vacc no visit’ rule and if people didn’t like it, too bad. For me personally, I was super tired and overwhelmed the first few weeks so my visitors were just immediate family and close friends anyway, who all got vaccinated during my pregnancy. Don’t stress about it, all will be fine."

"Can I please make the suggestion that if you are wanting people to get vaccinated before visiting, ask them to get it 6 weeks before bub is born, not the recommended 2 weeks. I have a science degree and after doing a sh*t load of research it actually takes that long for the vaccine to be effective. Not looking for a vaccine debate just offering a suggestion."

Your baby, your choice.

"Your baby, your choice. People need to respect your decisions."

"It's your baby and your choice. Your family/friends will understand and if they don't understand, then they're not worth having around. You can also ask the midwives at the hospital to tell family/friends the rules (then it's coming from them and not you)."

"I think it’s best to just be upfront with people – tell them your concerns etc and leave it at that; most people are pretty understanding. I would also do this prior to going into hospital so they aren’t shocked when baby is born and are asked not to visit etc. Please don’t leave it up to the midwife or nurse to tell people – their primary concern is caring for you and baby; the more time spent telling family and friends that they aren’t allowed in etc is less time that they are spending with you. I had visitors in the hospital for both of mine but asked people to msg me before coming in case I had a rough day/night. People were really understanding. Don’t stress too much about it."

"You can make any 'rules' you like. In fact, I'd say no visitors for the time you're in the hospital and then only people you want to help you do housework or cook you a meal when you do get home. I wish I'd been stronger about it."

"Totally your choice to choose what you want, and also while in hospital, remember you can tell the staff you don't want visitors, and they will enforce it for you. In some cultures, the new family go into seclusion for a few weeks to bond so you can always tell people that's what you want to do."

"We had immediate family only to the hospital and vaccinated friends to the house by invitation only. People should understand that you are taking this time to bond with your new baby so don't let it stress you out. Ultimately it is your choice."

Go with the flow.

"It's definitely up to you and for the most part people will understand/respect your decisions and those that don't will just need to deal with it! I would say don't stress about it now and just see how you feel! I said no visitors at the hospital except for immediate family, but when the time came I welcomed visitors and was asking people to come up that wanted to! Don't let it stress you out unnecessarily!"

Tips and tricks to avoid visitors holding baby.

"Having baby in a Moby wrap from birth is the best way to ensure you are the only one holding her."

"I just held my daughter and didn't offer her over to anyone unless they actually asked me and she was always hungry anyway so I had her back pretty fast."

"Out in public, I generally had a blanket on bub and over the capsule (middle of winter) so wasn't usually bugged by randoms trying to touch/interact with bub."

Let them visit!

"I insisted that all visitors were vaccinated, but other than that I welcomed all our family and friends to visit. It’s such a magical time and I just loved seeing everyone fuss over the baby my husband and I made. There’s not a lot of positivity in today’s world, this is a rare time of excitement and pure happiness! Newborns bring out the best in everyone and it’s awesome to be surrounded by that energy. It all dies down and two weeks in, everyone disappears anyway to go back to work and their lives. I say relish in the moment of it."

"I just held my daughter and didn't offer her over to anyone unless they actually asked me and she was always hungry anyway so I had her back pretty fast."

"Each to their own... Your child your rules. Personally, I made no requests of anyone and was happy for visitors to come by and hold bub when they did. Everyone phoned or messaged before they came by so I could have declined if I wanted! And I don't know anyone that would visit a newborn with a cold!"


How long did you wait before you welcomed visitors? Let us know!

Read How To Support a Family Whose Child is in Hospital
Read Baby Stroller Recommendations
Read Sunscreen Options for Aussie Babies and Toddlers
Read Advice For Mums Of Preemies
Read Dealing With Postpartum Hair Loss
Read 5 Tips For Returning To Exercise As A New Mum
Read 10 Things That Freaked Me Out As A New Mum
Read Six Reasons Why You Should Join A Mothers Group
Read Returning To Work After Maternity Leave
Read To Dummy Or Not To Dummy
Read Family Friendly Movie Night Ideas
Read Feeding Your Baby: Why Other People's Opinions Don't Matter
Read Recommended Breast Pumps
Read Bringing Home Baby For The First Time

#Useful Lists

Join the conversation on the Motherd Facebook Group
I like this Article - 1
More Articles by Jemma Fletcher
view all articles by Jemma Fletcher
Articles by Jemma Fletcher on Other Hubs
ID: 71879
[ Submit a Comment ]
Trending Articles
Copyright 2012-2021 OatLabs ABN 18113479226. mobile version