"I feel sad that I am losing that special time to bond with my baby."
When breastfeeding finishes, whether it be after a few days or years, it is an emotional roller coaster. One that I am currently on, as yesterday, I finished breastfeeding my daughter.
I feel sad that I am losing that special time to bond with my baby. What is more depressing, is the mountain of bottles that need washing and sterilising currently covering my kitchen bench.
I'm disappointed the decision got taken out of my hands when we had such a good thing going. I feel like my body is failing my daughter and I really wanted to feed on my terms this time.
I am relieved that I no longer have to feel the pain of blocked ducts and raw nipples, and excited that a whole section of my wardrobe can now be worn again. I am grateful that my daughter is fed and happy. I'm incredibly excited that my husband can now do night feeds and that I might get a bit of well earned sleep.
But mostly, I feel like this is another door closing on my little girl being a baby. She will be our last child and this is the first step in a long list of lasts.
Breastfeeding is full of triumphs and challenges, one that I have enjoyed. The last few days have been full of tears, but we must move on to the next phase in our journey and I am trying to embrace this.
What was your breastfeeding journey like and how did you feel when it ended?
I want hours upon hours of delicious sleep followed by hot cups of tea, reading my book and nothingness. But I'll have to get up now to comfort, feed, clean, dress, entertain, love, laugh, play, and repeat.