There is a taboo about the ĎMí word. People try to avoid it, or they downplay it, or they just pretend they didnít hear it.
People donít want to read articles like this that focus on the ĎMí word because they donít want to think about it. 1 in 4 pregnancies end in miscarriage but itís not okay to talk about it because itís ďnegativityĒ.
The reality is that the ĎMí word is a reality for 1 in 4 of us and we need to talk about it. We need to be allowed to talk about it. We need to be allowed to feel pain when someone talks about their healthy pregnancy when we lost ours.
October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Month and October 15 is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day.
No, my lost baby did not get her ďangel wingsĒ. She died. You can try to pretty it up if that helps you sleep at night but my baby died and I carried her inside for two weeks without knowing she was dead that whole time. At eight weekís gestation there was a heartbeat, and at 10 weeks there was none.
My baby died, and Iím allowed to cry about that even if it makes you feel uncomfortable.
I carried the pain inside for 17 years after I lost Michael to miscarriage because I was not allowed to talk about him. I healed because I carried Little C to term. Now Iím dealing with loss again and itís still fresh and Iíll be damned if Iím going to lose another 17 years to grief just because my grief makes you uncomfortable.
I miscarried on September 9, 2018, and it is not the ĎMí word. It is the loss of a child that we wanted and were excited about.
So this October, stop hiding from the ĎMí word and pay attention. 1 in 4 is a lot; chances are you know somebody who has experienced a loss even if you didnít know they were pregnant. Be that person who allows them to talk about it.
And stop it being the ĎMí word, as if it is something to hide.